Pork Chops and Pickle Sauce

In all seriousness: If I ever have to julienne an effing gherkin again....shoot me. Only the French julienne pickles. And not even human-sized pickles. Gherkins. With a 9-inch chef knife. Naturally. These are the pork chops. Again, I forgot to take the picture before I started to pack them away...all that's missing from these plates are mashed potatoes, but you should all know what those look like by now. I just wanted to get a shot of my lovely deboning (we have to remove the spine from the rib...during which the tip of my boning knife actually snapped off and was lodged in the meat for a little while). Then we just pan sauteed them, whipped up a tasty pickle sauce (aka veal stock reduced, the pork bones, gherkins (natch) and onions).

I did manage to take a closeup shot of the old papillote though. Tiny chef's hat for the bones. Almost as stupid as julienned gherkins. Now, hats for the gherkins? That's an idea I can get behind.

Marzipan Menagerie

Okay, here is what you've all been waiting for. My marzipan sculptures.
Keep in mind that these were done in about 20 minutes with no attention given to detail whatsoever. Also, the airbrush was clearly broken as it was blowing my rose leaves around when I wasn't pulling the lever...needless to say it was a bit leaky. We had exactly 10 minutes to color these masterpieces, with a leaky airgun. How the rose turned out so nice, I'll never know. Check out the mallard. Quack. Yah, those are almond slices that make his bill.

Gateau Basque

For as plain as this cake looks it was surprisingly deelish. It is a pretty plain almond cake with a coffee cake texture, surrounding pastry cream with cherries. Honestly, I guess it was coffee cake. It tasted WAY better the next morning, and was mighty fine with a cup of coffee. So if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck then it's probably coffee cake. Here's the top view and the closeup of the inside. I love cherries.

Osso Bucco

All osso bucco should look as post-modern and esoteric as mine does. I didn't take a picture on the platter...it was really less than thrilling. Then once I remembered to take the picture it was already in my tupperware. I love how it turned out. It's a new trend in plating....Screw cooking, I'm pursuing an art degree. This practical was pretty step by step to braise these babies, brunoise some carrots and orange peel and make a sauce. Meh. Not that great, which goes without saying given that they're still sitting in my fridge uneaten...

Sadly I did not bring my camera with me on Monday...which was frog's legs. They were poached and they tasted like pond water. The truly upsetting thing for some people (one guy in my class threw up by the end from the smell and sight) was that they looked like tiny man legs. Thinking back on it, they were the spitting image of little meaty, muscley Baryshnikov legs. Kind of hilarious. We got 6 frog pelvi each...and did two platings...along with a two plates of Coqilles Saint-Jacques...also not that thrilling, but tastier than the legs. The lesson here? Fry them. I ate frog legs when I was 6. Theywere fried and I remember them being tasty. Of course, as baby brother would say...they did remember to take the ribbit out...maybe that's what was wrong with these ones....I don't know why the French insist on poaching meat all the time. Blech.

New pics this weekend

Sorry fans...this week has been an SOB and I haven't had a chance to post any pics or write anything because I've had class until 10:30 every night this week. Tomorrow I'm done a bit earlier and hopefully I can relax tomorrow night and upload all my pics... SPOILER ALERT!!! Not only will there be meals that look good and meals that look bad, as well as some dessert items...there will be airbrushed marzipan animals...and a rose. Get ready for it. And tomorrow? Pork chops with pickle sauce. That's a direct translation from the recipe. MMmmmm.

Deboning a Chicken

It's not as hard as it sounds to take the bones out of the chicken. Did I manage to do it without cutting myself? No. Did the chef? Not the one we had in practical. When he was trying to show me how to use my cleaver better when I was cutting the bones up for stock he too cut himself. So maybe my cleaver/cutting board was cursed today? I got 2 cuts while cleaning my knife beforehand...and then while I was melon balling out my pommes noisettes I noticed that my potato was bleeding. Or rather, I was bleeding onto it from yet another cut. When and how that one happened we'll never know.

So this was sauteed chicken with a mushroom/tomato sauce or if you parlez vous, Poulet Saute Chasseur. The only thing I did wrong was do my cognac deglazing out of order for the sauce...but I managed to pull through and serve well-cooked chicken with a good sauce and nicely cooked (though a bit too noisette) pommes noisettes. Pretty tasty. Then I ate Golden Grahams for dinner and made puffed wheat squares...funny how you make fancy stuff and all you want to eat is garbage. Straight up comfort food, yo.

Tarte Souffle...

Another one bites the dust...this thing tasted like sweet eggs in a tart shell. Blech. Mine accidentally fell into the garbage as soon as he marked me on it...so this isn't actually a picture of mine...it's Bryan's. They looked identical though, except mine had a cuter strawberry fan on top for garnish. I wasn't the pastry ninja that I was yesterday, but I will finished with lots of time to spare. I'm trying to think of something to write here, but there is nothing witty or good to say about this sweet egg tart.

The Blood Clot Cake

Am I wrong? Does it not look like someone bled on this cake? It's a Miroir au Cassis: miroir because you make it shiny with the glaze, and cassis because the mousse is blackcurrant and there are blackcurrants inside. Meh. Better than buttercream, but I still don't dig the mousse that much. The lemon one he made in demo was WAY better...why don't the French like sour things? Sour is so good!

Anyway, long story behind today...I was a pastry NINJA today. I worked so fast that my cake went into the freezer 20 minutes before everyone else's...and then for some random reason the chefs would NOT let me take it out...they said it had to set more. Of course, after 45 minutes of mine being in the freezer, and 20 minutes of everyone else's theirs must have been set after ALL that time, and so we were allowed to open the freezer...and then I served 1 minute late because of the chaos. I would have had 20 extra minutes to get my cake done if not for that. There was smoke coming out of my ears by the time I got to present my cake. What do I hear from the chef? "(whistle) good mark today. Best piping in the class. I have nothing else to say about this cake." Then he tells me I need to organize better to finish on time. Could have throttled him. Pastry ninja. That's what I was, and was foiled at the end by the Purple Pie Man.

Whatevs. Best piping in the class. I'll take it as a compliment, I guess...though after looking at some of the other piping I don't know if it was...

Buche de Noel

Ah the Christmas log...super fun to do, not as fun to eat...Lots of people decorate this festive lumber with little marzipan gifts, candy canes, goofy stuff. I think a log should look like a log...like it belongs in nature. So I stuck with holly leaves, berries and meringue mushrooms. It went well, Chef liked it and it was a lot of fun to make. Then I left if in the staff cafeteria for someone else to eat. Like I said, the only thing that would salvage this bad boy is raspberry jam...unfortunately the tradish yule log is buttercream.

In my humble opinion...there aren't THAT many french pastries that I would call "delicious" or "irresistable." The last thing I brought home to actually EAT were the croissants and the turnovers...and the cake we're making on Thursday? I'll be sure to take a picture because I'm definitely not bringing it home...All I'll say it is that it has one of those shiny glazes on top of it (insert gag sounds here). I guess I just have a salt tooth...or a meat tooth...I am really picky about desserts. I don't like just any soggy ol' piece of cake with fat and cream piped onto it.

Today I Kicked a Duck's Ass

Yes, this is my duck. My apologies for not taking the platter pic at school with the turnips and everything...but I forgot my camera at home today. So I cut all the meat off the roasted duck and brought it home and pieced it (kinda) back together. So imagine the carcass is holding all those bits n pieces together...isn't she a beauty? I cooked it perfectly, I glacered (that's glass-ehd) it perfectly, it was shiny, the sauce was good (though perhaps too peppery...), the turnips were cooked properly and tourned well. Everything was great today! It was a great great day.

It started well with the trussing of the duck and ended with a demo for the Buche de Noel that we're making tomorrow in pastry. Yes, a Christmas Log in in February...but it's a French traditional "cake" so we have to learn to make it even if happens to be nowhere near Christmas. We get to make little meringue mushrooms and festive marzipan holly leaves to decorate. Will be sure to remember the camera tomorrow because I'm not bringing that bad boy home. It's filled with buttercream and covered in buttercream...I hate buttercream. Too buttery. I wish it were filled with raspberry jam and covered in Chantilly cream (whipped cream with sugar). Then I would eat the whole thing. mmmmmmmlog.

My Tickle Trunk

This is the bag I ordered online a few weeks ago to hold all my tools for school. I had to have it sent to mom and dad's house to avoid a $30 shipping fee and it took about 1.5 weeks for it to get to me. I thought I would show everyone how kickass it is. When it got to mom and dad's they were surprised that I would need such a monster of a tool bag (it's an electrician's bag)...as you can see it's about full. I don't know how I got by with that stupid little case our knives came in. Once you added the whisk the buckles may as well have been on two different bags for as close as they could get to each other. Everyone at school loves it and wants one like it. Of course it is like high school there so anyone who gets it now will be considered a giant poseur...It has 14 pockets inside and lots of room in the bottom for my bigger items and my scale. Just wanted to show you my Trickle Trunk. Watch our Mr. Dressup, mine holds knives...

Succes!!

This cake is actually called Succes (that's Success for you anglophones). The chef said that my hazelnuts flowers were better than his and that the competition was on. Bring it. They are awfully cute aren't they? The cake itself is three layers of almond biscuit (crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside) with hazelnut buttercream in between and icing sugar on top. The decorations are all marzipan. A pretty easy cake overall and it made for a relaxing first half of the day.

The second half is another story. The beef rib was insanity. I got all the way through the de-boning process to have the chef walk by and ask what happened to my bone. Apparently my cow had a tiny rib cage. So then having spent 30 minutes deboning a sub-par rib steak, chef got me a new one and quickly de-boned it for me, leaving me to do the rest (frenching the bones, tying it up, etc.) It was slightly undercooked (this is how the french call "bleu", or rare in our language, as they say to us) by a couple of minutes. But after searing off all the skin on my right hand I was a little distracted by the heat in the kitchen and had to just get that hunk o meat off the grill and get going on making the papillote (also known as the little white hat on the end of the bone). Making a papillote with one hand is a craft that I have now mastered. Sure, I left my string on the stupid steak , but that papillote was legendary. We made fries and Tomatoes Provencials (garlic, parsley breadcrumb stuffed and baked) to go with and the red blobs on top are slightly melted Buerre Marchin de Vin (red wine butter). They were rosettes when the service started I promise.

Cigarettes and Madeleines

These are what we made in pastry class yesterday. Cigarettes, Tulipes (the cups), Madeleines and Palet de Dames (the ones with the raisins). Meh. I know they're called Petit Fours Sec because they're SUPPOSED to be dry to have with your tea for dipping, but they're not MY cup of tea. Dip them in chocolate? A bit better, but give me something with raspberry jam on/in it any day.

Lamb Stew

All right, here is the unappetizing lamb stew. Yes, it's been in the fridge for 4 days (I know, I know...next stop garbage) but it looked exactly the same when we served it (only on a platter, not the tupperware). I'm not a fan of cuts of lamb that need to be braised. Too wooly. I enjoy a really rare lamb chop (fresh from the farm is even better) but that's where I draw the line.

I made some pommes noisette for dinner tonight to eat alongside my liverwurst and lettuce sammy. Basically you use your melon baller and dig out balls of potato, blanch them from cold, then pan fry them in clarified butter (I didn't bother with that last step...let the butter color them a bit more I say!). Deelish. I just realized I should have taken a picture but they fell into my mouth before I could get out the camera, as you can see to the right. The orange bits are Frank's Red Hot Sauce. I could drink that stuff.

Class-wise today was a rare empty day. We just had one demo class for a practical we have tomorrow night. Deboning a beef rib and making some pommes mignonette (read: french fries) and a breadcrumb stuffed tomato. So I'll be sure to take a photo of it tomorrow after I present (that means it'll be a bit mussed up...)

Choux Fly

These photos are from Thursday when we had the hardest pastry day every. I didn't finish everything we needed to do...I got my swans done and I glazed and filled everything, but I didn't have a chance to assemble my religieuse (big cream puff under smaller cream puff and stuck together and then some buttercream piped on them....). But here are the swans and the eclairs and the round things are the unfinished business. The light brown are coffee, the dark are (obviously) chocolate.

Today we did a lamb stew in cuisine. The hardest dish so far and I think it went well. I got everything done but forgot to put butter on my green beans and caught shit for that. I can confess that it wasn't a timing issue for me. If I had finished half an hour before I still wouldn't have put the butter on. I just plain forgot that step. But I was proud of myself and how fast and hard I worked and I think I can keep that pace and keep it up for the rest of the session. I also felt less tired today than other days because I was focused. Being all willy-nilly actually makes me tired. What I learned today was not to overthink things. The thinking makes you tired. You have to be robotic about it and just go go go. I will take a picture of my leftover lamb strew (it won't be appetizing in the tupperware) and you all can see it. It was pretty basic ingredients, but complicated cooking process and cutting techniques.

An Open Apology to New York City

Today is February 1 and I have now been out of NYC for a month (though longer if you don't count the puny three days I was back after Christmas). If you had told me that I would miss it I would have laughed. If you had told me I'd miss it this soon after leaving I probably would have snapped at you. As if.

And here I am missing it. I read the Times online, I devour the New York mags that Brian sends me weeks later and I want to be there, where the action is, where the restaurants are, where the weird and wacky ingredients are just around the corner. Where people are overeducated and underpaid and have opinions on just about everything.

My leaving to go to culinary school was the best decision I could have made. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and already I can't wait to get back. Removing myself from the situation gives me a clearer view of what was really wrong. My everyday frustration: my job. I went too long being unhappy in it and feeling isolated and alone in a city where misfits go to feel like they belong. In some ways it was a sign that what I was doing was clearly not the right fit. But it prompted this change so the sign must have been strong enough, though it didn't happen soon enough. I lived in NYC for 4.5 years - the longest I've ever lived in one place in my entire life - of course it had an impact.